A man was once in love with an apple (she was a Pink Lady). He cherished the gleaming curve of her rosy skin, and the soft succulence of her tender hidden flesh. They lived a blissful life together, the man and the apple, until it happened. One day, the man looked at his beloved, and felt the stirrings of a new hunger in the pit of his abdomen. He craved the taste of her, longed to feel his teeth sink into her. So he ate her. He crunched and gobbled and then licked his dripping fingers with regret, but relish.
He mourned his darling love, the loss of her rounded shape and the beauty she had brought into his life. Then a week later, he was in the produce section, and a certain Golden Delicious caught his eye —